Ariel Anderssen: How a Welsh performer balances a monogamous marriage with monthly BDSM visits
A 49-year-old woman in Wales describes her routine of working three days a week, filming custom videos, and spending four days a month with a partner in a non-monogamous arrangement.
By Jenna Mitchell ·
Ariel Anderssen, a 49-year-old BDSM performer living in Wales, has structured her sex life around a strict weekly schedule that involves two distinct partners. She reports having sexual activity three times a week on average, splitting her time between her husband and a male partner she identifies as her dominant.
The arrangement began after nine years of marriage. Anderssen and her husband initially intended to remain monogamous but agreed that additional partners would allow them to explore their interests more fully. Anderssen stated, "It was a frightening decision, but it’s worked very well for us, because we fully trust each other." She added that the dynamic has strengthened their emotional commitment.
Her week begins on Sunday with work. Anderssen films three custom videos for clients. The scenes include acting out a struggle with a monster, walking on crutches while discussing an imaginary surgeon, and licking leather boots while guiding a client through masturbation. She edits the footage until 4 p.m. that evening. Before leaving, she and her husband dine at an Indian restaurant to spend quality time together before her departure.
On Monday, Anderssen travels to St Andrews in northern Wales. She arrives the night before her partner to prepare, noting that she likes to arrive with clean hair and new nails. The two have known each other for more than a decade. Tuesday marks the start of their physical routine. They spend the day on the beach and in their accommodation. Anderssen describes receiving 14 strokes of a cane and engaging in sexual activity for several hours. She notes that the infrequency of their meetings makes the encounters feel intense.
The visit continues through Wednesday and Thursday. Anderssen and her partner film their interactions for a private movie and engage in roleplay. She describes the experience as providing a spiritual feeling, stating that her mind feels quiet and her body at peace. On Friday, she returns home by train. She does not share specific physical details with her husband, preferring to preserve the privacy of their separate encounters, but they discuss their expectations and feelings during her absence.
On Saturday, Anderssen and her husband walk to a local pub for lunch. Their conversation is interrupted by a phone call informing them that a member of her husband's family is seriously ill. They drive to the hospital and stay in a hotel room nearby. Anderssen reflects that the previous days felt carefree in comparison to the sudden onset of family crisis, expressing gratitude for the time she spent doing something she values.
